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Cerulean October

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Deleting Soon Mar. 27th, 2004 @ 09:05 pm
For some strange reason, I decided to check on this journal tonight. I haven't used it for a long time. Last update was Christmas Day.

For all of you who have me friended, if you want t remain m LJ friend, sign me up under celticfaerie2.

I'm oing to delete his journal as soon as I transfer a few posts over there. Seems kind of silly to have this one sitting around taking up space when I don't even use it.

So yeah. Friend celticfaerie2 and defiend this one.

*Sigh* Dec. 25th, 2003 @ 07:00 pm
I've really gotten into the habit of neglecting this journal. I may just abandon it all together...

Hope everyone had a merry/happy Christmas or whatever. It was really just another day around her. No tree, no decorations. We didn't even turn the music on to open presentes. I got the Cold Mountain movie book, an went to see the movie too...Damn good movie. I highly reccommend it to anyone who loves a good story. And Jude Law's ass.

My big pressie was a DVD player for my bedroom, but Mom got me good with an autographed pic of Christan Kane. Noif Icould jut gtmy grubby little hands on his CD, I'd be a real happy camper!

Not much else to say at the moment. Just more of the same. Finally getting over this damn flu, listening to new Buddy Jewel CD. Wish I was listening to Kane. *Sigh*
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: Buddy Jewel

New Layout Dec. 10th, 2003 @ 09:11 pm
LJ has a new style...I'm guessing it's only for paid accounts. I like it. It doesn't have a color option, just the default. But it's not so bad.

Not much else to say. My life is boring. Ohhh...Jude Law is on Conan tonight. Must. Not. Forget. Mom and I are planning to go see Cold Mountain Christmas Day. Hopefully the theatre won't be too crowded so we can enjoy...I remember one year we went to see Bambi on Thanksgiving Day...Seems wrong the theatre people have to work on holiday like that, but oh well. That's one thing I love about my job, no weekends, no holidays, and we close at 6 every night...

I can't believe it's already Christmas. Two weeks from tomorrow. It doesn't seem real. In other words, I don't have te Christmas spirit. Can't remeber the last time I did, actually. Christmas has become too commercialised. It's all gimics and gimme, gimme, gimme. *Sigh*

Myschool Winter Program is next week. A week from tonight. We can't call it a Christmas Program because of state regulations on the state funded Pre-K program. We can teach our kids abut Christmas customs around the world, but mention Jesus, lose job. We can't tal about wat Christmas means to us as Americans, because of the God-issues. Because there might be a *gasp* athiest family. Because it only takes one parent complaint, and we're fired or shut down, or whatever.

Everyone has a right to their own thoughts, their own beliefs. Personaly I believe in God. But it's My God. He's in my heart, in my soul,in my life. I don't always need to look for Him in the Bible or in the Church, and I certainly won't find Him at school. I think that's why I'm lacking the spirit this year. It's unaccepted at work, which is a big chunk of my days.

So anyway...I'm done with this post, because itwas ony supposed to be about my spiffy new layout...Heh
Current Mood: bitchybitchy

Shannon [PG-13] Lindsey Dec. 9th, 2003 @ 10:05 pm
Title: Shannon
Author: ceruleanoctober
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 OC character death
Characters: 4 year old Lindsey, siblings
Pairing: --
Summary: Remember the flu season? Six kids in one room...
Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowed. Don't sue, just read.
Notes: Writtenfor evil_hands "Conversation Over A Corpse" challenge. 100 words
Feedback is desired and appreciated

"Jesse!" Courtney McDonald shook her brother to rouse him from sleep. Beside Jesse, four year old Lindsey cracked one eye open, closed it immediately. "Jesse! Wake up!" Courtney demanded.

Jesse sighed and turned over to face Courtney. "Leave me 'lone, Cour."

"I think Shannon's dead, Jess. She's not breathing."

"Jesus," Jesse catapulted himself out of the bed, leaving a chill on Lindsey's skin. Lindsey sat up, curled his legs to his chest, watched them over his knees.

Jesse thumped Shannon's chest. Nothing. Shook her, called her name. Still nothing.

Lindsey started crying. With Shannon gone, Ian wouldn't be far behind.
Current Mood: crappycrappy

Angel Series Drabble. Part 4: Annoying The Beast [PG-13] Angelus/Wes, Fred Dec. 6th, 2003 @ 11:23 pm
Been a while since I wrote anything in this journal. I decided to get back in the swing with the fourth installment of my Angelus/Wes drabble series thing. Anybody remember that? I wrot ehe first three parts a while back, so I'll include them here under a cut in case anypone wants a refresher...

Title: Angelus/Wesley Drabble Series
Author: ceruleanoctober
Ratings/Warnings: PG13/Some mild violence
Characters: Wes, Fred, Angelus
Pairing: Angelus/Wes
Summary: Wes gets a little too close to the caged beast
Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowed. Don't sue, just read.
Notes: Written in 100 word drabbles
Feedback is desired and appreciated

The Beast Series Parts 1, 2, and 3Collapse )



And now part 4: Annoying The Beast

Wes took a deep breath, grounded his focus, shifted his eyes to watch Fred take the last step. She hovered close to the stairs, as far from Angelus as she could be without slipping into shadows. "Everything allright down here?"

Wes nodded, refused to glance at Angelus, refused to acknowledge the heat of his blood drumming through his veins. "Perfectly fine."

"Good. Willow needs your help."

"Of course. Right away." Wesley heard the sharp intake of unnecessary breath behind him. He took a step forward, swayed slightly.

Fred put a hand out to steady him. "Wes?"

"I'm fine," Wesley insisted.
Current Mood: tiredtired

Nov. 28th, 2003 @ 11:33 pm
*Sigh* I have been neglecting this journal...

I just readthrough my friend's page, though. Some lovely icons and interesting posts have cropped up

I guess I just want to let you guys know I'm still here. It's been a hectic week with Thanksgiving and my brother visiting...I had hoped he could take me out driving, .but I'm thinking that's not going to happen. There just isn't time. *Sigh*

I've only been out twice...

Anyway. It's time to say good night. I know it's not much of a post after a week of no posting, but oh well.

Row Row Row Your Boat Nov. 22nd, 2003 @ 03:43 pm
Did you know the children's song "Row Row Row Your Boat" can tel you more about how to live your life than anything else? It's true. I learned all about tit today in a child-care training class. Just look.

Sing the first line. "Row, row, row your boat..."
Keep moving. Keep your goal in sight and work to get there. Don't go too fast, don't go to slow. Just go. Don't expect the boat to row you, you have to row the boat. Find the balance. And row.

Second line: "Gently down the stream..."
Go with the flow, don't fight the current. Roll with the punches. And always keep the goal in sight.

Third line: "Merrily, merrily, merrily..."
Be happy. Be merry. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the journey.

Fourth line: "Life is but a dream..."
Life is a dream. What is your dream? Everything you see, everything you think is part of your dream. If you think the slow moing vehicle two cars in front of you is moving slow to piss you off, that's you dream. If you think you are a wonderful, beautiful, worthy person, that's your dream too. Choose your dream wisely, and row your boat toward that dream.

Pretty powerful stuff, if you really htink about it. For me, it rings true. Hits home. Makes me think.

This morning I did not want to get it. I didn't want to go to my stupid training classes. It's Saturday. I wanted to sleep in. I'm glad I didn't. I learned a lot about life, about my attitude, about how I relate to other people, and about how to mak myself a better, more effective, more positive person.

I work with children because I love kids. I want to make a difference in the lives of the children in my class. Lately I've felt burned out and frustrated. Like the teacher on Joan Of Arcadia last night. I have been feeling that I'm not getting through, I've been questioning my role, my job. After the class I took today, I've got a whole new outlook.

I need to get my prioritites in order. I need to take better care of myself so I can take better care of my children. I have 24 kids. And not a one of them comes home with me at the end of th work day. They're mine from 8am to 2:30 pm. I spend more waking time with them than their parents. I'm an important person in their lives. I have the power to make a difference, for good or bad. I want to affect them for good. Iw ant them to remember me, even if they don't remember my name or my face. I want them to remember me in their hearts long fter they leave my classroom...

Oh, and one more thing. A challenge of sorts. The instructor told us if you di this, 95% of what you write will happen. But sadly, only 3% of the people introduced to the method actually do it. It's called The Rule Of Fives and it's really quite simple: 5 minutes, 5 days a week, for the next 5 years...when you wake up in the morning, one of the first things you should do is write down 5 things you desire. Health, wealth, love, a vacation to Scotland, peace. Whatever you want in life. Write it down. Date the paper. Fold it up and put it in a box. Stash it away in a drawer, in a notebook. Wherever you want to put it. There's only two rules. Be honest, meaning you write what you actually desire, not what you think you should want. And nothing harmful. Do it. It will make a difference.

It's kind of like the Gratitude Journal Oprah taught us about a few years ago. ut having an attitude of gratitude simply means beiing, feeling, living in gratitude. You don't even have to know what you are thankful for. Just be thankful. ANd soon, you will begin to see an infite list of things you are truly grateful for. Try it. Write those things down too, if you want.

Try to always live in th moment. Realise your thoughts are just thoughts and thinking something does't make it true. Feeling is real. When one of the kids at work pisses me off, that's my thought. It's not the child that pisses me off. It's my own reaction to his behavior. I need to learn to accept that, and try to find the good in it. It's not fair to blame a child for pissing me off, because the kid can't piss me off. I'm the only one who can piss me off. I can let go of the negative and simply embrace the child and try to guide him to be a better person.

Isn't that whatit's all about?
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

I'm So Happy... Nov. 18th, 2003 @ 10:03 pm
Just found out Christian Kane is going to be on an upcoming episode of Angel!

Click here for the spoilers, unless you are spoiler free ;)

I am so psyched! I can't wait. Hopefully one episode will lead to two and two to three........
Current Mood: thankfulthankful

New Obsession Alert Nov. 18th, 2003 @ 04:53 pm
Mostly due to the influence of video tapes (I WANT THE DVDS) and celticfaerie2, I am suddely in the midst of an Oz obsession...I stayed home from work today, and spent most of the afternoon watching old Buffy episodes, scanning for Oz...I'm hopeless, I know. But oh well. I don't hae anything else to say, but I will shamelessly pimp celticfaerie2 and I'll return the favor of community pimpage by reccommending her brand new community, oz_willow since she's been promoting my Buffy/Angel fic challenge community, scarlett_tears
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable

Nov. 17th, 2003 @ 06:57 pm
I feel like shit.

Started around noon today. I was just sitting there at the table for lunch (thinking how peaceful the day had been at work without Jacob) and my head started pounding. I'd been sneezing a bit excessively all morning. I said "I hope I'm not getting sick" but I think I am. I've got a low grade fever (99.5) right now and I feel very blah all over. ;(

Oh, and it doesn't help that Andre lost to Federer today. 6-3, 6-0, 6-4 for the last match of the year. Way to go, Andre. Not. *Sigh* Roger is number two. Andy is number one, though number one seems to be a curse of zsorts since he's lost about as much as he's won since taking over number one. *Sigh again*
Current Mood: sicksick
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